How to Find Love at Christmas

Long gone are the summer days of chatting to handsome men in pub gardens and swiping mindlessly on sun lounger.

In place are rain battered blow dries and legs hairier than any arctic animal. So you’d be right in thinking that finding love at Christmas is a daunting prospect.

But it can be done and it can lead to long lasting, emotional connections that are more about a future together and less about how many men dressed up as elves you can kiss in one night.

By being proactive and refusing to write this time of year off as a holiday made for couples, you can easily meet your match.


Don’t be worried about the clichés

According to a survey by National Rail, one in five people met their other half through work. Christmas parties can be a brilliant way to meet and get to know colleagues you otherwise don’t get to speak to, especially if you’re in a large company.

Say yes to those after work drinks for the third night in a row, say yes to helping organise secret Santa and absolutely go and chat to the new guy who works in marketing.

Just freeing yourself of those age-old clichés of office party snogging and awkwardness will allow you to give yourself permission to be more open and engaging this festive season and really, that’s half the battle.

Sign up to a dating site you’d never consider

Now, I’m not suggesting you change your entire personality but why not use the extra free time the Christmas season brings to branch out a little? Whether you’ve always wanted to try that dating site for beard lovers (yes, it really does exist) or have never ventured outside of swiping, use the lull to give it a go.

By only sticking with the dating sites and apps we know, we’re unlikely to break the cycle of bad dates and the same old chat. Just like with our news consumption, we need to break our filter bubble and expose ourselves to different opinions and tastes (and beards).

Use your time wisely

Christmas brings with it lots of free time, not least the hours waiting in airport departure lounges and waiting for trains. It was on a three hour train journey back to my parents last year that I signed up to a dating site, paid the £9.99 for a week’s membership (because I was a cheapskate) and changed the course of my life forever.

Bored on the train, I turned to my phone and on a whim signed up to a site a friend had recommended. Spotting a badger enthusiast with a witty tone, brilliant beard (seriously, I should have given Bristlr a go) and a penchant for Proust, we exchanged messages. Soon the train journey was over and we’d swapped phone numbers and dog selfies. Nearly a year on and we’re living together and celebrating our first Christmas in our home.

The festive season is actually a brilliant time to work on you and what you want from love. It doesn’t always mean swiping like there’s no tomorrow, you could use it to manifest your following year or clean out your phone of all the “Iain Tinder” and “Harry Bumble” contacts you’ve acquired.

People tend to be more relaxed and merrier this time of year meaning they’re more likely to be open to finding that long term partner or making clear plans for exactly what they do and don’t want.

Don’t be afraid of the glow-up

Being back in our hometown for the festive season can bring mixed feelings, especially living in close quarters with siblings and parents again. Most of us will inevitably sulk off to the pub to meet up with our childhood friends for salt and vinegar crisps and £6 bottles of white wine. But this could be exactly where you make that all important connection, or reconnection.

It can be weird seeing old school mates now you’re all in your 30s but don’t let the fact you knew them when you were 13 and only had eyes for Marti Pellow put you off. You’re not the same person and so why would someone else be? With an already shared background and endless things to talk about, be open to reminiscing in the pub and appreciate their glow-up. Because who expected Martin from the year below to have such an awesome ability to smoulder? It makes all those years of geometry worthwhile!

With the dark nights, Bailey’s hangovers and questions about your love life at the annual Boxing Day party, it can be so easy to pull up the drawbridge and not see Christmas or winter as your time. But you deserve love too. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the role of “token single woman” or Bridget Jones-esque spinster, relax, go in with an open heart and enjoy yourself and finding love at Christmas might just add that extra sparkle.