No matter how well a date has gone, it can be ruined by a sloppy, overly toothy or simply underwhelming kiss. A smooch gives you a pretty accurate idea of how much sexual chemistry you have with a date, as well as suggesting what else could be on the horizon if things go well.
Singles tend to get caught up in worrying about how a first kiss will go and whether they’ll be able to give their date what they’re looking for. The truth is, though, most of us aren’t actively thinking when we’re mid-snog; the instincts kick in and you’re focusing on enjoying the experience rather than technical performance. Sometimes the lead up to the kiss is the trickiest bit to master. Choosing the right moment, the perfect setting and gauging the kind of kiss to go for can be make or break factors.
We want to help! Read on for all the advice you could need on how to kiss on a date…
When’s the best time to have a first kiss?
Unfortunately this is one question we can’t help with. You should kiss your date when you want to and feel ready to. Don’t listen to the purists who insist that you should never kiss on the first date. Equally, don’t give in to any pressure you might be feeling to get the first kiss out of the way. If you feel ready and you think your date wants to kiss you back, go for it! Whether it’s the first or the tenth date, listen to your heart and do what feels right.
What are the signs that someone wants to kiss you back?
Being certain that the person you’re planning on putting the moves on feels the same way is an absolute essential. There’s nothing more toe-curling than being rejected when you’ve leaned in for a kiss, both for you and the person dodging your advances. Some simple ways to work out if they want a snog as much as you include:
They’re constantly touching you: Some people are naturally very tactile, but you’ll be able to tell the difference between friendly touches and potentially romantic ones. Look out for the classic arm stroke or any lingering touches that last a bit too long to be strictly platonic
They’re giving you strong eye contact: if they’re holding your gaze seductively and staring into your eyes, operation kiss is probably a go. If they seem distracted and more interested in what’s going on around them, it might be best to abandon the mission.
What’s the best setting for a first kiss?
Getting the setting right is important. You want to be able to focus on the kiss rather than anything offputting going on around you. You certainly don’t want to be feeling the eyes of twenty onlookers burning into the back of your head as you lock lips.
We’d always recommend having your first kiss in a private place if possible. If you feel comfortable inviting a date to your place or going to theirs, go for it. Just don’t allow yourself to be pressured into anything you’re not ready for.
If you do have your first kiss in public, try to find somewhere that’s screened off from prying eyes. A booth or private area in a low-lit bar is a good option, as people are less likely to notice you snogging and you’ll feel less self-conscious. Ultimately, all that matters is that the two of you feel comfortable. If neither of you cares about people staring, go for the kiss wherever you want and let them watch!
Is there anything else you need to think about before the big kiss?
Don’t forget the mints or gum, especially if you’ve just had a meal full of garlic, onion, spices or other strong flavours. You don’t want worrying about your breath to be a distraction and your date will thank you for it!
How should you go in for the kiss?
Once everything else is sorted, you’re ready to make a move on your date. If you’re feeling nervous, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Just remember that being a bit nervous is a good thing; the nerves will get your adrenaline pumping and will heighten your excitement. Don’t overthink the kiss before it happens. Turning it over and over in your head won’t help anything and will make you more likely to seize up mid-smooch.
Make sure you’re sitting or standing close to your date. Ideally you’ll already be touching in some way – perhaps a hand on the knee or an arm around the shoulders. Hold their gaze and, when you feel the moment’s right, lean in, close your eyes and plant a gentle kiss on their lips. Don’t go straight in with the tongue; this can be a massive turn-off and feel really invasive. Start off slow so you can gauge what your date is into. Mirror what they’re doing and ramp things up if they’re responsive. Make sure you’re touching them with both hands, either on their waist, their back, or on one on the side of their face.
And then… take it from there! As we said, once you’ve started kissing, you’ll naturally know what to do and won’t be thinking about exactly what your lips are doing. Just enjoy the intimacy and allow the kiss to bring you closer together.