What’s Your Real Age?
People lie. They lie online about several things. Men lie about an inch or two of height. Women lie about 8 lbs. of weight. And everyone lies about their age. These are statistically the most common lies online, so you should expect that many people will “fudge” a little here and there. After all, what’s an inch or 8 lbs. among friends?
But when it comes to your age, you may be wondering, “Can I lie about my age on dating apps and sites?” How many years should you lie about? Common practice says that two or three years aren’t really a big deal. But where do you draw the line? How much is too much to lie about?
A Personal Story
I want too share one of my own personal stories. I met men through personal ads that ran in the newspaper. They were really fun to read even if you weren’t dating. I placed my own ads so the men applied to my inbox for dates. Honestly, I met some fabulous men doing this. Combined with singles dances and blind dates, I dated 30 men in 15 months to meet the man who is my adorable husband still today.
Paul, my husband, was the 30th man I dated. But number 29 was a really nice guy too. We got along well and had fun together. Until one night when I saw his driver’s license. Instead of being three years younger than me as he had told me, he was 6 years younger. That surprised me.
I asked why he lied about his age. He was already younger than me so what was the point? He told me he was afraid I wouldn’t meet him if I knew his real age. Trouble is, this little white lie left me wondering what else he might have fibbed about.
OK maybe it’s just me. But, I don’t think so. Many people will start to wonder about a person’s ability to be truthful.
Stretching the Truth
People often ask , “Can I lie about my age on dating apps?” In their mid to late 40s, they’ve taken to stretching the truth from five and to as much as seven years. These women insist men won’t contact them if they admit to being over 45 and claim the way men search, most sort from 30 to 40 and not by 35 – 45. How accurate is that idea?
Let’s look at how this works in reality. Sharon, a stunning blonde of 45 says she’s 38 on Tinder and Match. She won’t even consider admitting to being a day over 40. We talked about how a seven year “fudge factor” might seem to a man she just met and how she planned to tell him.
OK, in all fairness, maybe it will diminish a percentage of the attention. But how much? No one can say for sure. But some men must be looking for women who are 40 – 50 right? Sharon would certainly fit right in that search bracket. My online dating tips for women and in particular for Sharon, was not to lie about seven years – that’s too much.
What’s Your Age Tolerance?
Let’s turn the tables about these online dating tips for women concerning age. How would you feel if you met a man who was 50, and discovered he was really 57? Should he tell you that in the body of his profile, during the first phone call or first date? Should he wait longer and tell you on date three or after you two become exclusive?
People have different tolerance levels for this sort of thing. To me, seven years is a heck of a lot to fudge. Imagine what it will be like to admit this. If it’s on the first phone call, he might not meet you. If you tell him on the first date you might not get a second.
Let’s say you hold off and tell him after a few weeks when he has started to really get to know you and like you. You might be tempted to think that’s a lot safer because now he’s sort of invested in you. Maybe he’ll take it better after you sleep with him. But will he? That’s a big risk if you ask me.
Are You Creating Trust Issues?
You could be planting a seed that will cause him to always have trust issues with you. Once you start a relationship with a lie, that sets a precedent. Wouldn’t it be better to start closer to the truth? Anyone can cheat about 3 little years, but 7 or 10? That will detract from you being thought of as a person of integrity.
I understand women look fantastic. Many of my clients tell me they look 15 years younger than they are or more. Could they be kidding themselves a little? I get how you could really look 10 years younger. But 15 or 20 is pushing it. Maybe you are lying to yourself. OK maybe with a good camera lens you could look 20 years younger, but will that hold up in person?
Age is a fact of life. I have to deal with it too. We all do. No one escapes this problem unless they die young. All I’m suggesting is you to get a little closer to the truth and share a little less fudge . I want the men you date to TRUST you and want to stick with you.
Don’t risk the love of a good man by starting things off with a whopper of a lie. Instead, why not trust that the right man will find you and want you regardless of age? After all, that’s what makes him the RIGHT man!