I know that we haven’t all been blessed with the gift of wit and nerves of steel, much less the skills required to hook a love interest. But, in fact, it’s perfectly all right to be a bit shy or even a bit clumsy. This is probably why the pickup line was invented even! But remember, the pickup line is a double-edged sword too – everything depends on how he or she will take it. And don’t forget that a good sense of humour can depend on culture and social rules as well. What can I say? We live in a complicated world! That being said, some pickup lines are simply deal breakers. You will need to avoid them at all costs.
This morning, for instance, I was coming back home from the gym when this guy stopped, and said: “- Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?” Come on! If he knew me, then surely he would remember me. I would like to think that I am not someone you can forget so easily. So, either he was lying, or if it were true, he had completely forgotten about me. Did I make such a lame impression when we first met? I didn’t even reply. Frankly, there was no point.
I met up with a friend a bit later, and we discussed what had happened. As it turned out, she’d also had to deal with her fair share of really bad pickup lines. We had a good laugh and came up with a short list of the worst ones:
1. “- You look so French (or Italian/British…)!”
What does it even mean? Do I sound French or do I look French (In my case, I suspect it’s the former…). I have always toyed with the idea of replying something like “You look so British!”, but I have managed to refrain so far. Let’s hope I keep it up.
2. The guy who can’t remember or pronounce your first name.
In my case, most British guys make my name sound like a meowing cat (Mew -ree – el) when in fact you stress the last syllable (Mu – ree – ell ). Worst of all, they can’t even HEAR the difference when I explain it to them. As you can imagine, I don’t like it v. much. Come to think of it, I wish I had said that my name was Julia. So much easier.
3. “- You are so beautiful that you illuminate the whole building”
For the record, I am not making this one up. Great, we will make savings on the electricity bills. As for the rest, well, Non Merci!
4. “You looked better in the dark”
Right. It says it all.
5. “Hey Gorgeous!” or “Wait up Darling!”
Is he speaking to me? Such sentences make me want to run away as far as I can. The thing is, you have to understand that most people outside of the US or the UK don’t like to be called Pet, Sweetheart or Darling. Now you know.
6. “You look like my mother”
Right. How is it supposed to be a compliment? Nobody wants to date a guy with mummy’s issues anyway. Not to mention that I am far younger than your mother.
7. “A lady like you should run in high heels!”
I am sure that the comment was meant as a joke. But the thing is, I happen to be a long-distance runner, and right now I am training for my next marathon in Arizona. It didn’t make me laugh. Sorry. Maybe we should have had a race, both of us in heels??
Here is a tip for you: next time, just say “Hi”. Keeping it simple is the key to success, if you ask me. Simple, honest, and straight to the point! That said, fear not, if your first approach was a complete fail, you can always laugh it off the next time, if you are really into him/her. Who knows? Maybe it will give you something to talk about for the rest of your life…