The Complete Guide to Dating an Older Man

If you’re looking for a relationship with a man who knows what he wants, it’s a great idea to open your heart to an older man. It may surprise you how dating a man 5, 10, even 20 years older can result in a lasting and loving relationship with a special guy who’s ready to treat you like a queen!

While some people may doubt the intentions of a woman who dates older men, there is nothing wrong with going after a guy who makes you feel good and who supports you in the ways you desire. So go ahead and take the initiative to meet older men who appeal to you!

The Perks of Dating an Older Man

  • Older Men Can Be More Confident and Assertive – Being more experienced in life, older guys have had more time to find their footing in life. They usually know more about who they are and what they want then their younger counterparts.  
  • Older Men Are More Financially Secure – It’s simple math: he’s had more time to earn, save, and invest money.
  • He May Be Ready To Settle Down – Having sewn his wild oats in his youth, an older man might be looking for a partner to share the rest of his life with. The best way to find out is to ask him how he sees his future.
  • He’s Learned A Few Things – Older men are often more experienced sexually, which means he may have a lot of fun things to teach you! Be open to his ideas and let him know your limits as well as what you enjoy most.

Why Dating an Older Man Could Be Tough

  • Your Friends Might Call You a Gold Digger – And hey, if that’s your goal that’s okay! But if you genuinely like your older guy and enjoy dating him, ignore the comments and focus on what makes you happy.
  • You Might Not Share Friends  – If he’s much older than you, it may be difficult for your friends to relate to him, or for his friends to relate to you. If your friends are into tequila shots and clubbing on Saturday invite him, but let him know it’s okay if he doesn’t want to come along. Similarly, you may want to opt out of some activities with his older friends, and that’s okay too. Ask if it’s important to him that you go. If not, make other plans.
  • He Might Not Be Able to Keep Up With You – Literally – It’s just a fact, older men often experience slow-downs in the bedroom. Be patient with him and ask him to show you some of the other tricks he knows!
  • He Will Likely Need More Time To Himself  – Older men come with older man responsibilities, whether it’s children from a previous relationship, more responsibility at work, or supporting a certain lifestyle. He will also know his interests and they may not all include you.

5 Rules for How to Act When On a Date With an Older Man

  1. Be your fun, sweet self! An older guy will want to date you if you’re comfortable in your own skin. Don’t hide your age difference or pretend to “act older.”
  2. Be open about your financial situation if something he recommends is too expensive, but don’t make it all about money. 
  3. Really listen to him, and ask questions that show you’re interested in learning more about his world.
  4. Don’t tease him about his age or make a lot of references to your age gap. This will only remind him of reasons not to date you. Instead, talk about the things you share in common.
  5. Let him know you’re interested, but don’t move too quickly. Older men value a quality woman with high standards.

Sugar Dating vs. Traditional Dating

Not all younger-woman-older-man relationships are sugar daddy relationships. Sugar dating is a specific type of relationship, in which the man will support the woman financially or with gifts in exchange for romantic and sexual benefits. While some people may not like this idea, there is nothing wrong with wanting a sugar daddy relationship.

Many women who date older men are not doing so for financial or material gain, however. The reasons to date an older man can be as simple as liking him and valuing his companionship. This sort of relationship can be incredibly fulfilling for both partners. The great news is that it is easy to meet older men on many dating sites. Check out the top of this guide for a list of the best dating sites for finding older men.

FAQ About Dating an Older Guy

How should I act when dating an older man?

Be yourself and focus on the ways you connect with him, rather than your age difference.

Is it okay to date someone 10 years older than you?

Absolutely! When it comes to romance, age really is just a number. If your relationship is meeting your needs and your partner’s needs, that is all that matters.

How do I find an older man to date?

You could try to find older men out in the real world, but it may be more difficult, unless you have a lot of older friends. The easiest way to meet an older man is to find him online with a dating site or app. Head back to the top of this guide to find the best dating sites for meeting older men.

How do you know if an older man is serious about you?

If your older guy is serious, he’ll show you by introducing you to his family, friends and colleagues and by spending time with you regularly. Let him know how much you appreciate his time and attention, and he may even take more serious steps, such as sharing a home, or even a marriage proposal!